The Naked Chef
Apparently, I am not romantic. But that doesn’t mean I can’t write funny love poems. This is how it goes:
A chef worked on Salad-Prep one day
Making the most of Head-Chef’s day away
He took his whites off behind the scenes
And performed tricks for passing teens
He dropped mint sweets in cans of Coke
Took his mobile phone to film his joke
Chemicals inside the drink and sweet
Made a cosmic-fountain spurt six feet
In Chef’s office he accessed the Internet
For the best joke website he could get
Uploaded images of him and his guests
Standing in the fridge performing jests
One lady remarked, “My blouse is splashed.”
So into the laundry the young cook dashed
He only retrieved house-uniforms
Urged, “Get in them before someone comes!”
The youngster slipped her white top off
Extending a slender, naked arm for cloth
But the salad-maker only teased
He snatched her garments when he pleased
That the girl was almost in the altogether
Struck the naked chef as rather clever
He moved beside her in the cold
What the amorous pair did can’t be told
But woe was to fall upon them that day
The head-chef forgot to calculate his pay!
He was in the midst of a conversation
Opened the office to his consternation
For right among his calculations there
He discovered two young lovers quite bare
Chef pulled them out marching both quick
To the Maitre-de who gave them stick
Neither now works in catering, I’m told
And have a daughter who’s two month’s old
But they’ve a sense of humour I find nice
They called their tiny daughter Ice!
Patrick Mackeown, June 2006
Picture by Piku
Should I write more funny love poems?
Please let me know.
Also check out my funny limericks.