Take a look at my collection of short poems.

funny limericks


Patrick Mackeown’s funny limericks I had a go at writing a few funny limericks. This special type of poem is particularly suitable to making a point! 1) The last dim-witted […]

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How to start a war

How To Start A War

Warfare details require cunning One must be mindful of pretext Find examples of grave misdoings Plan carefully what happens next!   For invading Iraq, Google a PhD When asked, why […]

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Trade Winds poem

Trade Winds

Centuries of sailors knowing Setting sail and cutting ties Bravely waving tears unflowing Beyond an age of longing lies   Parted by oceans man and mother He floating in Poseidon’s […]

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Sheep for slaughter poem

Are We Sheep For Slaughter?

Savile Row is my suit! Caviar Diplomatic Dinner Solana, Kofi Annan my guests. “Condi! How nice!” See me swagger? Statesmanlike wave. Stern voice. “The fight isn’t about oil.” “A lasting […]

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safety on the internet poem

Safety On The Internet

Another young child is taken snatchers in broad daylight too Now that the Kraken has woken What must the web citizens do?   Can you see Internet sniffing? Know what […]

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rumours of my demise sex poem

Rumours of My Demise!

Twain replied, are greatly exaggerated! Of Miss Heming Jefferson said Callender had the situation grossly aggravated! Clinton did not have sexual relations Kennedy always in compromising situations!   Of Sabra, […]

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Bully boy antics poem

Bully Boy Antics

There was a group who wanted power To ensure opponents always grew fewer They used phrases like nigger-lover Prevent folks speaking to one another!   Hostility, fear and aggravation These […]

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war poems

Ode To A Wartorn Land

I have thought a lot about war, and why it happens. Please read some of my war poems.   In Palestine early feet were Canaanites Archaeologists study ancient Ugarit rights […]

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office politics poem

Office Politics

To you and me a pencil is trivial! But see, in an office who owns it? Tis the managing director’s pencil! Now jobs are sure to be axed!   Is […]

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The office poem

The Office

The office is looking grey today The air is oppressive and heavy Locked inner doors signal who’s away I get my presentation ready   The management are huffed and puffed […]

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funny love poems

The Naked Chef

Apparently, I am not romantic. But that doesn’t mean I can’t write funny love poems. This is how it goes: A chef worked on Salad-Prep one day Making the most […]

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behaviour poem: we're misbehaving

We’re Misbehaving!

Prince Metternich was midwife to many nations Goebbels, propagandist, stuck to allegations Lawrence wrote Chatterley to consternation Dyer of Amritsar received our Lords’ ovations!   Perfumo and Archer fell foul […]

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Philosophical poem: dreaming of meaning

Dreaming Of Meaning

“I’m dreaming of meaning,” said AJ Ayer to Noam Chomsky “What,” replied the Statesman, “do you wish to relate?”   “Well,” the Etonian responded, “I’ve been doing some thinking. And […]

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