Patrick’s George Bush Impersonations
George W Bush Impersonation No. 1Patmac waddles up the middle of the room with his arms out like a penquin’s flippers, and cranks his neck from side to side.
“Er, where’s the microphone?” Aide “Sir, that is the microphone.” “What, this? Oh, I thought it was a stick-shift. Funny place for a stick-shift, though, on a stage.” Aide “No, sir, it’s not a stick-shift. It’s a microphone.” “Is it? Then where’s the stick-shift?” Aide “Sir, Channel 24 is waiting.” “Are they? I gotta go get a pizza.” Aide “Sir, can we do the interview first and get a pizza later?” “OK, but can I get a Pepsi?” Aide “No, sir, no. You’re on.” “Hello, America,” Aide “Sir, this is London.” “My fellow Londonians, I just wanna tell ya we’re gonna bommerize ’em. An smokem out. America is with you. Were are you? Where am I?” |
Impersonation No. 2
The Bush Show:
George W Bush (The talkshow host)
Director: “Cue Camera One.”
Bush rises from his seat and walks across the set.
Director: “Where you goin?”
Bush: “You said queue behind Camera One.”
Director: “First guest, Oprah.”
Bush’s eyes widen
Bush: “Am I gonna be on Oprah?”
Director: “No, George; Oprah’s coming on your show.”
Bush: “I’ve got a show?”
Director: “George, this is it.”
Bush: “Wow, can we sing songs?”
Director: “Well, no, George. On talkshows people normally talk. If they sang, then they’d be called singing shows.”
Bush: “OK, but can we do that trick-thing, where you hide nickels under three beakers?”
Director: “No, George.”
George looks disappointed.
Bush: “Can we?”
Director: “No, George.”
Patrick Mackeown, 2006