Fleet Street trembles before Gordon.

Sleepless editors stir steaming, midnight Horlicks.

“Our presses will grind to a halt,” they wail.

“What’s to be done about Gordon?”

“His children are too young for Bristol flats,

Or bouts of inner-city inebriation.

His wife doesn’t support suicide bombers,

Or have pointy hair. He’s probably not gay,

Or bizarre. Our editorials will all be blank!”

Fleet Street trembles before Gordon.

Because, well, the trouble with Gordon, is,

That, well, he’s just so Gordon!

Patrick Mackeown, May 2007

Picture by Alicia Solario